Unfortunately when babies are born they don't have a great concept of what time it is. It's pretty common for an infant to be up during the night and sleep the day away. It's not the best arrangements for new parents but it usually fixes itself by about 3 months. It's not wise to attempt to switch the schedule on your own by keeping your baby awake during the day and hoping they'll sleep at night. This will just make for a very cranky baby who might continue to stay awake due to being over stimulated.
2. Whatever the original plan was- expect it will change once the baby has arrived.
Most women, especially first time moms, do a lot of reading when they're pregnant in anticipation for their new arrival. There's a lot of concepts new parents can either agree with or disagree such as co-sleeping and breastfeeding. When you're pregnant it's easy to do research and decide what direction you want to go in. When you actually bring your baby home, what you once thought would work for you and the baby might go right out the window. For example, I was opposed to co-sleeping with our son. When we first brought him home he was a pretty good sleeper and right from the start he used his crib. Around 1 month of age he decided to be fussy in the middle of the night so on our very rough nights when we were completely exhausted, we allowed him to come in the bed with us. He slept ten times better when he could be near us, and in turn, we were able to get a few hours of good sleep as well. I didn't allow us to completely switch to co-sleeping but we did utilize the concept here and there when we deemed necessary.
3. As parents, you receive A LOT of advice (Whether you've asked for it or not).
You're going to get judged by those who became parents before you and everyone is going to tell you what's best for your baby. If you choose to breastfeed, people will tell you why they didn't find it necessary. If you choose not to breastfeed, you'll get criticized that you're not doing what's best for your baby, or that it's not necessary with all the different formula varieties that are available today. People will say your baby is overdressed, and some will say he or she is underdressed. What's important to remember is that some advice, whether it is welcomed or not, may be useful. Give it a listen and disregard what might be nonsense. You're the parent, and you know what's best for your child.
4. Every baby is different.
Leading up to birth and once the baby is here, you'll read a lot of information about newborn babies, people will tell you stories about their own children, and you'll receive a lot of advice. The fact of the matter is, every baby is different in their personalities, their eating patterns, their sleep patterns, what they like and don't like, and their level of fussiness. You might get some valuable information from people you know, but if you have a coworker who has a colicky baby who kept her and her husband up all night for the first 6 months of life, that doesn't mean you'll be stuck with the same dilemma. You're giving birth to a brand new human being and chances are you'll be faced with situations that you never anticipated- situations that your own parents didn't have to go through with you. Be prepared for the unknown and be prepared to ask your pediatrician lots of questions that you don't personally know the answers to.
5. Babies are unpredictable.
Within the first couple of weeks your baby is mainly going to sleep. This doesn't change much from baby to baby. All babies need to sleep off the trauma of being born and it will take some time before you see their true self. What will happen though, is the unpredictable. When you least expect it (And are probably least prepared) your baby will spit up or throw up, he or she will wet their diaper and it will soak through to their outfit, they will poop when you least expect it, they will cry in public when you don't even see it coming and their sleep schedules will change at the drop of a hat. With my son, his sleep patterns would change every 3 days or so. We would have a couple of days when he would go to sleep very easily at night, he would sleep quite a few hours at a time, and would wake up only briefly to be changed and fed. The next thing we knew, after not changing anything about our routine, our son would refuse to fall asleep until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning, he would wake up every 45 minutes wide awake and ready to play, and would go along on very little sleep for 2-3 days. It was frusterating to say the least, and we waited for him to switch again so we could catch up on our sleep. We never knew when the changes would occur and there was nothing we could do to fix the situation.
6. The things you bought in preparation may never get used.
There are a lot of baby products on the market these days. There's a product to help aid in every problem you may have for your baby, and chances are, you're going to spend quite a bit of money on these items that won't work, and you may never use. In preparation for my son I got a little of everything that I thought I would need. I stocked up on pacifiers, I got a Boppy pillow, we bought the little mittens that prevent the baby from scratching themselves, I stocked up on different bottles and we bought a can of formula to have in the house for when we would need it. As it turned out, the only pacifier our son really liked was the Soothie pacifier they give babies in the hospital, the pillow was somewhat awkward and the baby would cry when laid on it, the mittens were huge and never quite fit him, and the formula they supplemented with in the hospital was the one that our son tolerated best. At about 3 weeks old, my baby developed acid reflux, and it helped using special bottles that were meant to reduce gas and air. All the bottles I had bought weren't working well enough. Needless to say I now have a plastic bag full of bottles that are no longer being used. We have a 3 pack of bottles that work great for us, and I never had thought of buying those ahead of time. The wise thing to do is to purchase the basic things you're sure you will need. Once you have the baby, you or someone you know is inevitably going to need to make trip after trip to the store to pick up things you need anyway. You may as well save your money until you're sure of what you need.
7. Raising a child is all about trial and error.
This is true especially if this is your first child. There's no way of knowing what is going to comfort your baby before he or she is here. Swaddling may or may not work, white noise may or may not put your child to sleep, they may or may not like certain outfits or articles of clothing, certain lotions, soaps or diapers may aggravate their skin, certain formulas may not be tolerated well, he or she may not take well to breastfeeding, and many other situations will arise where basically the only thing you can do is start trying different things. It takes weeks to figure out what motions or noises will calm you crying child, and you will also figure out what aggravates the baby further. Even if you have 5 other children, each one is different and it will take some experimenting to figure out what works best for this one.
8. You will indeed be tired.
I hated when I was pregnant and people warned me about how tired we would be. I knew we would be getting up a lot at night, we'd be dealing with a crying baby, and sure, our energy would be a little more taxed than usual but I figured it wouldn't be all that bad. The truth is, we've had plenty of nights when we slept, but there's also plenty of nights that required us to get up every hour. Even though we're able to sleep in between feedings and changes it's sometimes tough to fall into a deep sleep where we can recharge and feel great in the morning. If you're able to, napping is a great idea although it's not always possible. Make sure you're eating well and taking care of yourself to make sure you're not putting your health in jeopardy. While parenting is rewarding and wonderful, it's also tiring. Focusing on the rewards helps to get through those first few months, as does remembering that it will get better. However, it's not necessarily as bad as some people make it sound.
9. You'll purchase more diapers and formula than you ever thought possible.
I had diapers purchased and ready to go when we brought our son home. I had quite a few packs of newborn sized diapers on hand and figured I had enough to last until the baby would grow into size 1. Boy was I way off. We probably ran out of all the diapers I had available by the third week. We ran out of the formula the hospital gave us within the first week (In addition to breastfeeding) and now I find myself going to the store to stock up on large cans of formula every other week. I buy 3-4 cans at a time because just in case we need to switch the brand of formula we use I don't want to be stuck with excess cans of the old stuff. Same goes with diapers. Now that my son has just started wearing size 1 diapers, I bought a big economy box of that size, but before then I was picking up packs of newborn diapers every time I went to the store. I'm confident the economy sized box will be empty before we know it as well. You average about one diaper every 1 ½ - 2 hours and you also need to factor in additional diapers you may ruin along the way. As far as formula goes, there will be times when your child doesn't want to eat the normal amount they usually do and an ounce or two will go down the drain. While those big cans of powder look like they could last forever, taking one or two scoops every 2-3 hours really depletes the supply.
10. Anticipate doing a lot of laundry.
We received a ton of outfits as gifts, and we also stocked up on a ton of blankets, sheets, and burp cloths. I figured this would result in me not having to constantly do laundry but I was very wrong about this as well. I don't find myself doing laundry necessarily because we're out of clean clothes or blankets, but I do it because it piles up so incredibly quickly and if I don't, I'll be spending a full weekend trying to catch up. Every day consists of a sleeper for nighttime, an outfit for the day, sometimes an additional outfit if one gets dirty from spit-up or a leaky diaper, one or two burp cloths get used every day, random pairs of socks, blankets that can sometimes make it a couple of days at a time but often get dirty as well, a towel and washcloth for bathtime, and sheet saver pads all get used up on a daily basis. This is in addition to mine and my husband's clothes which sometimes need to be changed if we get formula on us or whatnot. While we don't do it, there are many parents who utilize cloth diapers. Unless you hire a diaper service, that makes for more messy laundry! I am constantly lugging a large basket of dirty laundry down to the laundry room to throw into the wash, and almost nightly I fold and put away laundry of some sort. When I go shopping I stock up on detergent and we're constantly going through it. It's not a difficult part of the day and actually can be made fun. I lay my son down safely nearby while I fold all the laundry and chat away to him. He loves hearing me describe what I'm doing and watches me quite intently while I get the work done. Unlike some of the other daily chores like cooking or cleaning, laundry doesn't require me to rush around to get it done while my son is taking a nap. Just be prepared though- there's a lot of dirty clothes to come!
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