It's Ok To Have One Child

People are always shocked to find out that we only have one child who is four years old and we have not tried to have another one yet. Many immediately assume we have had trouble conceiving and don't know what to say when they find out that we are very content with one child right now and this is our choice. I usually explain that we're very open to another child at some point but that we're in no hurry. We had our son early on, right after we became married so we would have the option of spacing our children out. I often wonder why this is such a shock to people but we're very happy with our one-child family and being judged for it doesn't bother me in the least. I always want to tell people 'It's ok to have one child!'.

It might be because I came from a household where I was the only child that makes me feel comfortable with our choice to space our children apart by quite a few years if we do decide it's the time to have another one. My husband is one of three however, and he's on board with the spacing as well. I can verbalize the point of view from an only child's perspective and I can assure you I turned out just fine with no siblings. With my son I see a lot of the benefits I received from being an only child such as undivided attention. I love that I have the ability to dedicate all my attention to my son whenever he needs it. I don't have to feel guilt over dividing my time and because it's been just him and I during the days for the past 4 ½ years we have an amazing bond.

A major stigma is that only children don't know how to act socially and that's why siblings are a necessity. Myself, and many other mothers of only children beg to differ. When I observe my son in his preschool class or playing with his friends I see him being outgoing, funny, respectful and comfortable. I also had no problem making friends and do just fine in a social setting. My son knows how to share because he has been taught that's the right thing to do and he knows how to be kind to others whether there is another child in the house or not.

I have actually heard a mother say that you don't know what it's like to be a mother unless you have had more than one child. This might be the type of moment I encounter when my defensive side comes up a little bit mainly because I think that's the most outrageous thing I've ever heard someone say. I may only have one child but I know what it's like to have a baby inside of me, I gave birth, I nursed, I survived on little to no sleep, I went through teething, reflux, boo boos, crawling, walking, talking and more. When my son came into this world he took hold of my heart and that's something he will always have of mine. That's what being a mother means, whether I have five more children or stick with my one.

It's ok to have one child. You're not dooming your child to a lifetime of social anxiety and awkwardness, they won't be lonely, they will still have their own families some day if they desire, they will be smart, they'll thrive and they will always be your child. There are pros and cons to each side of the story. Neither one is wrong. It simply comes down to applauding the parents that make their families work each and every day; raising successful, loved and adored children who will grow up to be amazing adults whether there is one child in the home or ten.